Ms. Marvel 1 (msmarvel1) wrote in heroinesofslash,
Ms. Marvel 1
msmarvel1
heroinesofslash

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SATIRE!!! FEEL THE WONDER!!!

It's just plain clear at this point that women just aren't very successful as characters. No matter what, they seem to be hated at every turn. It's clear then, that we must rule out all bad character traits and from what's left, create the perfect character types for all future entertainment.

First of all, women, under no circumstances, can be weak. Nobody wants to hear whining or moping or bitching or complaints about someone's period on adventures (and of course we know that men never do these sorts of things). So weak is totally out. We don't have time to deal with those types of problems.

That doesn't mean that women can be strong. Oh no. After all, strong women are obviously just being strong because they're uber-feminazis who want to opress men. Or they're lesbians. Or both. And we don't need either of those. So no strong women either. Besides, those types of women are bitches. Or villianesses and we don't need those either.

Also, women can't be sexy. No big voluptous breasts. No long flowing hair. No sexy clothes. This is all just opression and it turns women into sex objects In fact, better rule out cute, too. After all, sweet little cute women are just sexist portrayls of what misogynists think they're like (even if they are created by women), and they're weak anyway.

In fact, while we're at it. No more girlfriends. After all, everyone knows that girlfriends are just clingy, soul-sucking bitches that get in the way of the real story. (Whether that story is venturing on a quest or venturing into another guy's pants). And even if they aren't... well, then they're just bowing into the patriarchy's idea that all women need is a man, and nobody wants that.

So now, with all of that data, I have computed some images of what the ideal women will look like: BEHOLD!!!

Okay, maybe a little more work is in order...
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